Tired of being the representative

I was in Caen one night at David’s house when I had had enough. One of David’s friends had come to the house to play some music with David, and the conversation that ensued was typical of first meetings, but I didn’t want to deal with it this time.
Steryotypes. They present a problem. Usually when the conversation turns to the USA there is not a whole lot of positive things said. I try to correct things where I can , but for the most part, I agree with their statements. Still, after an hour of hearing someone dog your country, and multiply that by a few times a month, I don’t care who you are, it gets old. This particular guy proceeded to talk about how he saw on TV one time a girl in the US who didn’t know where Budapest was, she thought it was the capitol of Europe. Fine, like I say here, there are unintelligent people everywhere, but he was telling this story as if I wasn’t there, and then looks at me and asks, “So is it true, Americans don’t know where Budapest is on a map?”

I wanted to say ‘Yes, it is true, we are all complete morons.’…and then punch him in his face. I told him I didn’t know, and I then proceeded to tell him how sick I was of being the mouthpiece for 260 million Americans. I don’t know all of them. But I told him that all of my family, and most of my friends know where it is. And when I told Laura about this, she made the point that if you are going to judge an entire country by the response of one girl to a geography question there is seriously something wrong. Of course for those of us who have traveled it is a no-brainer. And sure some americans don't know this one small detail, but ask Bob or Josh about brewing, Jon, BJ or Garrett about climbing, Eli about anything sportsman, Glen about nutrition, Kevin, Mark or Laura about literature, and they’ll blow your mind.

This is a microcosm of what I am facing here, what the world is facing. But what is even more shocking, and what I realized was that we believe what we see on TV. Almost every commentary I hear here about the US starts out with “one time I saw a report on the US and they said…” The funny thing is that we do the same thing. When we talk about other countries we play off what we see in films and on TV. Some less than others, but for the most part we go off what we 'know'. I would love for someone to approach me and ask me if what they saw was true, or better yet to ask me what my life looks like where I live. They are amazed when I tell them that I am super conscious about what I consume, that I bike more than drive and that I don’t eat McDonald’s or drink Coke.

I wonder about the first conversations that westerners had with people from India, from Thailand, from China. Well of course they weren’t always easy, language difficulties, but I pose the question because I wonder what it was like to have no idea what you were going to find in a place before you got there. It is almost as if there is no room to be curious or to make a cultural, social error. We shy away from asking questions that might not be intelligent not “culturally sensitive” and instead make statements as if we know how ‘it’ all works. I shied away from being myself many times since I have been here because I didn’t want to be ‘that’ American in France. Turns out I am American.

Just a quick example of how trying to be overly culturally sensitive can make you a jerk. I have a girlfriend who is American. I like her. She is funny, she is smart, and sometimes she is loud; especially when she is excited about something. Normal right? Few people are super loud, and especially when you are in the market, it is difficult to hear people’s conversations. So first day Laura is excited to see me and I have the impression that she is yelling in my ear. I let her know and she gives me a look. No less than twice more within the next few days I correct her, until she looks at me and I know I have gone to far.